Your focus is your experience.

Last week, I traveled for a conference I’d been to a few times. The conference itself was way better than previous years. I was treated to many significant pearls of wisdom which I attached to simple – very actionable – takeaways.

Throughout the week, I ran into great friends, new people, and kind-of knew people who I got to reconnect with. The connections allowed me to talk – and in doing so, clarify in my mind – a host of different facets of my life.

The experience of this trip should have been amazing start to finish!

Negative bias played a huge part in continuing our species… but is it now doing more harm than good?

A few days into the trip, I received some bad news by phone. This one piece of bad news tainted – actually overwhelmed – my thoughts. I became fixated on this one. bad. thing. It overshadowed ALL the good things. It overshadowed the content. It overshadowed the people. It even overshadowed a bucket-list item I was planning – actually to the point where I decided not to plan it at all.

One bad thing.

In a sea of amazing experience.

In a sea of hugely positive potential!

Maybe, at this point, I should add: The news itself was benign. It was really the potential of what could happen that threw me off.

You know, the potential negative that could happen.

The one potential negative.

… in that sea of actual positives.

That, my friends, is negative bias. And it kept humans alive for a long time.

Negative bias no longer keeps us alive. It ruins our experience.

…if we let it.

Practice:

When you find yourself focussing on one negative and you’re letting it ruin all your positives – because there are SO many positives – ask yourself these four simple questions:

  1. Is this a potential negative or an actual negative? If it’s an actual problem, the damage is done and you need to focus on how to move forward; focusing on what happened will just ruin your current experience.
  2. What is the worst case scenario? Go big here! Find the meteor-crashing-into-the-Earth scenario that could happen.
  3. What is the possibility of that worst case scenario? In most cases, the worst case scenario is far-fetched and approaches zero on the possibility scale.
  4. Is there ANY positive in that scenario? If a meteor hits the Earth, it might just land on something making your job difficult. Go ahead and let the positive be as humorous as you want.

Taking a couple minutes to review these four questions can help eliminate the stress and anxiety around potential negative events – circumventing our negative bias and refocussing on our present experience.

Photo by Zun Zun from Pexels

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