How to Treat Me (yamas)

The Raja path consists of eight petals. None of the petals are more or less important than the others. You cannot achieve the goal bypassing any of the eight. Raja yoga is the journey inward until we reach a point where we realize that the entire universe is inside us. That we and all other things are one. So, the Raja path is sequenced from the outermost “layer” to the innermost. The ordering is in no way meant to confuse you into thinking one is more important than another.

Yamas of Raja Yoga

In our physical body, we are a being that interacts with other beings and the world around us, both physically and energetically. Thus, our first petal of Raja Yoga is the way in which we interact with others. The way we are meant to treat others.

There are five yamas:

  • ahimsa
  • satya
  • asteya
  • brahmacarya
  • aparigraha

The overall message of the yamas: be good to people. Treat me the way you would want to be treated.

Love me

Ahimsa is the lens through which we need to see the entire world. Often translated as non-killing / non-harming, Ahimsa is what leads many yogis to choose being vegan. Non-killing in comparison is quite easy, right? Don’t kill.

But, Ahimsa is also translated as non-violence… and here is where things get a little trickier. The opposite, of course, being compassion which is why I say that Ahimsa needs to be the focus of everything. “Violence” takes on many forms in our life and for most of us, it’s angry knee-jerk reactions. It’s violent thought. It’s flipping someone off; it’s “getting even” when you’re wronged; it’s screaming at someone when you’re angry.

The practice of Ahimsa is changing those knee-jerk reactions from “anger” to compassion. We’ve all accidentally cut someone off and thought “Wow, I can’t believe I did that. I’m totally in a fog, today!” Yet we assume that someone cutting us off is a “jerk,” rather than the more likely reason that they have something big going on in their life.

Tell me the truth

Satya is truthfulness. In it’s basic form, do not mislead others with your words or actions. “Little white lies” are still lies. Omitting a piece of the truth is equivalent to a lie. Surrounding a lie with something that is “technically” true is still a lie.

“Austerity of speech consists in speaking truthfully and beneficially and in avoiding speech that offends.” Gita 17:15

So, when someone is being rude or offensive, then justifies the behavior by saying “I’m just being honest.” This is not satya. Satya is truth with compassion.

To practice satya, we must do two things. The first is to not let the filters of our past interfere with the statements we are making as fact. In other words, not try to fool others – or ourselves – into thinking our opinions are fact. Opinions are not “truth.”

Experience, however, is truth. Our second practice in satya is to understand that someone else’s experience will define what is true for them. We have to be conscious that other people may have equally valid truths… that we simply do not.

Honor me as equal

Asteya is non-stealing. Easy-peasy right? You’re not running out to car-jack someone, so you’ve got this covered!

Mostly.

We often steal from people in other ways. My favorite example is time… the only resource we can never get back. Yet, we steal other people’s time frequently. We keep people in conversations after they’ve told us they need to go. We ask others to do things that we could easily do ourselves. We try to save money by having people do their work as a favor. We steal their time.

We steal people’s thunder (sic Mason Pain) by interjecting our stories during their pain times. We steal people’s glory by one-upping their accomplishments. We steal from people when we don’t honor the work they’ve put into something, or point out only the bad.

To practice asteya is as easy as reminding ourselves to honor the other person’s desires as the same feelings we would have in a situation. Also, don’t take someone else’s stuff.

Wait for me

Brahmacarya is celibacy. Traditionally, this yama is the practice of sexual restraint. The underlying origins have to do with energy stored in the body and the release of that energy during sexual adventures. Sexual energy stored in the body becomes ojas; the energy of vitality.

Metaphorically, if we’re constantly giving our vitality away for mere pleasure, we’re not strong enough to do the work. Life takes work.

So do relationships. On a physical and emotional level, spending time in relationships that are simply draining our vitality doesn’t leave us in a place to build strong relationships with purpose and mutual benefit.

To practice a non-celibate brahmacarya is to preserve energy for the important things. It is to choose your battles. It is to wait for what is right instead of what is now.

Share with me

Aparigraha means not being greedy. This world has abundant resources. There’s enough to go around for everyone, if only we’d share.

“Take what you need and leave the rest. They should never have taken the very best.”

We compensate our lack with consumption. We’re bombarded with the message that we’re not good enough until we own this trinket or that trinket. If something is good, we think more is better. If something is available, we’d better get a lot of it so as not to run out.

We’re to the point that we don’t really know what is “enough” anymore. With a little bit of focus and attention, we can, though. Track what you spend your money on. Put it in categories each day and note whether it’s something you need or something you want. After a month, you’ll notice many of the want items stop appearing on your list. Once we get used to the idea that we don’t need everything, we simply choose not to consume.

The sutras were written in a time long before the excessive excess we have now, but greed was still greed. Even then, the sages realized the more stuff we have – the more we consume – the “heavier” we feel. All these extra goodies weigh us down.

For most of us, to practice aparigraha, simply consume less. One less drink when you go out. One size smaller coffee. Wear your perfectly good clothes another year. Downsize your car… your house… your life.

Reframe

There’s a good reason the yamas are framed into a position of “non”. Non-violence, not lying, non-stealing, not wasting energy, non-greed. Yoga is a process of purifying. It isn’t as much reaching for as much as it is removing all of the things that block you from the goal.

To be on the Raja path, these yamas, these vows, must be practiced continually. There is no excuse or time when it’s OK to break them. That doesn’t mean we won’t break them, but that’s why we practice… and why karma is still King.

I’ve chosen to reframe the non statements into positive statements as a reminder that the yamas are how we are meant to treat others. They are the outermost layer of our journey inward.

Stu

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